Got to chapter 2, it needs moar description and less dialogue, try and produce a sense of characters through narrative and personal/behavioural description. Introduction could be more helpful too, tells the reader 'why' has this happened as to 'how'.
(sorry for the ' ' but you cant bold in blogs.
TjA
Got to chapter 2, it needs moar description and less dialogue, try and produce a sense of characters through narrative and personal/behavioural description. Introduction could be more helpful too, tells the reader 'why' has this happened as to 'how'.
(sorry for the ' ' but you cant bold in blogs.